Feeling grateful for all that you do and all that you are.

The one who wakes up with a heart full of love to send my way, and even though appreciating you often slips my mind, this small distance between us has helped me see how lucky i am to be your girl.
To be the one you put on the top of your list, the one who isn't just your number 1 girl but your only girl.

As time passes by her heart has begun to shatter for the lost of a soul.

The remnants of the pain shes caused has burned her up inside like wildfire, its begun to make her question her souls purity and the authenticity of her promises.

What is love? She's not sure if she truly understands it anymore.

What is it that you're searching for? A happiness to fill the void? A sense of security and peace?
Nothing compares to the cry for forgiveness her heart so often aches for.

A small memory, a familiar face brings forth a rage of emotions that she struggles to fight through. It's too much at times, too much to bare.

He had his heart broken but she will be the one left with scars.

Mistakes

Some mistakes were meant to be made,  a constant reminder that even if you were given all the pleasures in the world, you've learnt to never make that mistake again. Some lines are worth crossing for a better tomorrow, and some lines, once crossed it can change everything. Because some mistakes you can't turn back from, even when all is forgiven, it can never be the same. The human heart has a way of controlling us, an act of betrayal, a broken promise or a broken heart never truly heals... even when you've lifted the bandaid, scars remain. Sometimes something so pure and white, even the smallest smudge of black can create a unremovable stain... like an unforgettable memory it sticks with you. Because even though you've forgotten why or how, you'll never forget the feeling. The feeling of regret and grief for something now lost, the pain of hurting someone you love is greater than any pain that can be caused to ones self. Ties that have been severed and lines that have been crossed define who you are, even when you don't want to believe it, the truth has a way of catching up to you. Some mistakes can cause so much pain it makes you wonder if you can even call it 'mistake' because an act so cruel surely cannot be given any reason of excuse? Some are made in the heat of the moment, the most common and most often, most painful. Blinded and misguided, you turn your back on all your promises all for one moment of pleasure, how foolish you are to be so naive to think that it would be okay? Because even when things seem so safe and secure, everything has a way of surfacing itself. The truth never stays hidden. All you can do is take it all in and learn from it, embrace your mistakes and change, the first step to any enlightenment is acceptance. There may not be an explanation for everything but everything happens for a reason, you just gotta make that reason worth it. 


Things can never be the same but just maybe they can be better. 

Me and you. Just us two.

I know you want to leap and fly with me. But I also know you don't want to witness the fall. It's okay, I'll be waiting right here until you're ready to take my hand..

You're the reason I want good things to happen just so I can share it with you. Nothing seems real until I tell you about every detail. You're the reason why I want to be successful just so that I can spoil you and sing "I'll gas up the jet for you tonight and baby you can go wherever you like". The reason why I look forward to my future, because I can see you by my side walking the rest of the journey with me. I buy gifts because I want to see you smile, I take my time to understand you because it makes me feel complete when you simply get me. You are my shoulder to cry on, the one who has always protected me from the world but yet in return I left you scarred. I don't regret the past anymore because dwelling on it will only hold us back from moving forward, what we had was amazing but what we can have now is even greater. We've grown so much yet also grown so far apart, but it'll only make us stronger when we reunite. Absence only makes the heart grow fonder.

I know you're afraid, I know its daunting every time life throws you a big question mark. But it's okay, it'll never be too late for us. Because what we had can't simply fade away, our spark still lingers even after all this scorched earth. Life is what you want it to be, life does not make decisions for you, you decide what and how you see life. If you have a negative view, life will be like looking outside through a dirty window. It's going to look shit no matter how beautiful it really is. I know you're confused, but I'll help you open your eyes, don't be afraid. Take your time, timing is everything.

Timing + Opportunity.


Jequila&Babyface
Stronger than ever.

Why we don't fall in love like the movies

What makes movies so good? What makes you believe and feel every emotion played on screen? The (few) great actors and heavy editing of course are all important elements, but we don't have fantasies like that in real life, thats why we all escape into those 90 minutes. It's not impossible to have a romantic story, it's just that we don't ALLOW ourselves to have these romantic stories. When was the last time you met someone and fell in love at first sight? And I don't mean the physical attraction between two people but actually fell in love with them? Never. You know why? Let me break it down.


In the movies boy meets girl and then like clockwork, some romantic cliche scenario is played out and boom! The stars align, sparks fly and they live happily every after. Cute right? It could happen right? Sure it can, but lets take a closer look at these "romantic scenarios".


Scenario 1:
On the tram/bus/train, you catch each others eyes and then... hallelujah! The rest is history...


Problem:
When was the last time you took a train and didn't immediately pop in your headphones and block out the world? And it's not just the headphones, what do most people do next? They shoot straight 100 kph to good ol' Facebook/Twitter. The real fact is that nowadays people would rather socialize in the cyber world then socialize in the real world. Mind you, most of the time people aren't even socializing with friends on Facebook people, they are just scrolling through their news feed like lifeless drones just to keep busy. People are just so anti-social they NEED to look like their doing something ALL THE TIME. Could you imagine what it would be like if the next time you stepped onto a train everyone was talking to each other? Like a big reunion, people would laugh and tell stories.Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't that kick off your start in the happiest possible way? This could happen, why can't it? I mean, I have no trouble having a long conversation with someone on the train, granted that they have basic hygiene standards and maybe something mildly interesting to talk about? I mean, how many opportunities do you really get a day, to meet someone new? 


So let's reevaluate the scenario. There you are, headphones in, head down scrolling away on your stupid iPhone, blackberry, blueberry whatever piece of metal junk you have, and there's a cute boy sitting across from you thinking 'she's cute' but how is he suppose to 'catch your eye' if yours are glued to your screen? How is he meant to find the interest to walk up to you and say hi if you look like you find a block of shiny metal so fascinating?


Scenario 2:
At the park, she/he is reading the same book as you. This must be fate, marry me now.


Problem:
Okay, so who here goes to parks nowadays?? Show of hands?? Oh, and who reads books? Anyone? Okay so I'm generalizing a little bit, people do read books, but most of them do it on ebooks or they squint to read a book on their stupid iPhone's. This means no book covers, how am I suppose to even notice we're reading the same book and that we are destined to be lovers? How can I notice your intellectual side when you look just like another douchebag with his eyes glued to his phone?
And as for parks, sure, you might go for a run (with your best friend iPod), or you might walk your dog or cat or turtle but when was the last time you sat on a park bench? And I don't mean, waiting for a friend so you can go grab a large sugar dosed latte at Starbucks, I meant, you walked to a park to enjoy the sunlight and all of natures beauty and intended to do nothing but that? Probably once, some time in July, 4 years ago. In a dream.


People watch movies and wonder, why can't my life be like that? Why can't I fall in love like the movies? Stop being stupid. Romantic 'I fell in love when I first met you' scenes are rare and your chances are slimmer than winning the lottery, so stop dreaming about these unrealistic fantasies and live your own fairy tale. Open your eyes to all the opportunities to meet someone new, and when I say someone new, I meant ANYBODY. Maybe next time you sat next  to 60 year old Margaret on the bus, ask her how her day was going, and while you're at it, why not help her carry her groceries off the bus? Who knows? Maybe her cute son is waiting to pick her up and falls in love with you cause you're such a total sweetheart? Make your own romantic scenarios, all you need to do is find a little courage and take the opportunities before you.

One of those days

I don't even know anymore..

Sometimes in life you can feel so certain, so sure that you're happy, that you know where you're going and who to trust.. but it never stays like that forever. Right now I feel so lost with no direction, unfulfilled and.. lonely. How could something make me so happy yet so sad? How is it okay that something can make you feel so weak? Over the years I've tried not to be so open, to not be so naive, and be the wise girl.. but somehow, I still feel so vulnerable?

Love is never easy to find and it definitely does not come to those who do not fight for it. I wonder what it'll be like when I finally find the one? One thing I know for sure is that I'll look back on these days and know that it's all over now, that all I had to do was stay in control and let nature take its course. Nothing is forever. It sounds so cliche, but every truth is a cliche, cliches are just situations, words, anything that's been repeated through history too many times that it's become typical, almost expected. The problem with cliches is that you know it, but it doesn't change how you feel when it finally hits you.

These years should be the best years of my life, but why do I feel like I'm still missing so much? Is it because no matter how far you go or how much you make, it all doesn't matter if you have no one to share it with? (another cliche).
This probably isn't the correct use of this old quote but, if a tree falls down in the woods and no one hears it did it happen? That's how I feel, I feel as if, no matter what I accomplish if I don't have someone to share it with, was it worth it? What determines the achievement if no one is there to acknowledge it?

So where is this all going? What happens at the end of the road? I use to look forward to the future but now I'm almost afraid. How time slips by so fast and so slow.. what I have can leave so fast and what I want seems unreachable.

Maybe I'm just having one of those days..